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This celebrity gets a big break to be a true model for others. But instead of celebrating her assets, she immediately starts knocking the goose which laid her golden egg!

Why Valerie Bertinelli Is So Wrong
By Elaine Sihera

Valerie Bertinelli, best known for her 1975-84 sitcom One Day at a Time, is joining Kirstie Alley as the new celebrity face and body for Jenny Craig. Valerie, who is only 5'2", and turns 47 this month, vows to lose 30 lbs by September (going from a size 14 to a size 8). According to her, such a diet: "is freeing because I can say it first: I know what you're thinking: I'm fat." Instead of celebrating her accolade by acknowledging her advantages as she is, the first thing she thinks of is losing weight. She gets her big chance, thanks to her body, then immediately starts to knock it! Talk about being grateful!

But this lady is so wrong to be going on an instant diet of such proportions for three main reasons:

First, she was given this modelling role because of how she is NOW, not what she will become. It is not dependent upon her being svelte-like and tiny. Her new organisation is reinforcing the attributes she brings to it by taking her as she is, by appreciating who she is now, not waiting for her to be some future perfect person. They obviously hold her in high esteem.

Second, she obviously has low self-esteem to believe that everyone thinks she is fat. That's HER choice of words, the way she feels about herself, the way she perceives her life currently, the negative way she views her body. I am sure the few insecure people who might think she is 'fat' are a tiny fraction of the many who actually love and appreciate her as she is, a beautiful woman whose grace is shining as she gets older.

The Real Message to Other Women

Thirdly, the message she is sending out to younger women, and even those of her own age, in America - women everywhere, in fact - is about how they should view their bodies and reject them for ideal unreachable sizes. I am a size 14. I currently weigh 140 lbs. I could lose 14 lbs easily to be my ideal weight of 126 lbs. But to say you have 30 lbs to lose as a size 14 is very irresponsible to the millions of women who fret about their weight, who lack self-love and self esteem and who look to celebrities for some sort of reassurance and guidance as role models. Why does she want to be a size 8? Is that the best representation of women we have? Is that the only acceptable representation of the female form at 47 years old? And when she reaches a size 8, then what? Is that real perfection where she spends her life being a size 8 but rapidly declining in self-love and self appreciation?

It is time in the 21st century for women to be pleased with whatever shape and size they are. We have earned that right and we have power over our lives now, especially people like Valerie who are wealthy and successful. Naturally, a slimmer body is a healthier one because it carries less strain on the heart. But an unnaturally slim body sets up other anxieties of maintaining such unrealistic weight simply for the approval of others. Ultimately, it robs that person of their confidence and self-esteem, making them extremely vulnerable to the vagaries and expectations of their critics, instead of listening to their own internal voice. If she is about to lose weight because of what other people 'think', that's the inappropriate approach to losing weight healthily, especially when coupled with an unrealistic amount of loss.

Questions Miss Bertinellli should be asking herself are: Why was she happy with her size 14 until she was given this new opportunity, when her size suddenly became unacceptable? What is she trying to prove with losing so much weight, and for what purpose? In whose eyes will she be more attractive, when the first place for approval and acceptance lies within ourselves?

Most of all, what effect would she expect her words to have on other vulnerable women who look up to her and admire her AS SHE IS only to realise that, sadly, she doesn't admire herself at all, and that their size 14s don't cut the mustard either?

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ELAINE SIHERA (http://www.elainesden.org) is an expert author, public speaker, media contributor and lifestyle columnist. Confidential advice on personal/relationship issues is available on the quiz site. The first Black graduate of the OU and a post-graduate of Cambridge University. Elaine is a Personal Empowerment, Relationships and Diversity Consultant. Author of: 10 Easy Steps to Growing Older Disgracefully; 10 Easy Steps to Finding Your Ideal Soulmate!; Money, Sex & Compromise and Managing the Diversity Maze, among others (available on http://www.amazon.co.uk as well as her personal website). Also the founder of the British Diversity Awards and the Windrush Men and Women of the Year Achievement Awards. She describes herself as, "Fit, Fabulous and Ready to Fly!"